Secretly Loving You (14• Guilty) Manan

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Diary, Dear

It’s been three days since I last spoke with Manik. Even though I know he isn’t interested in me, I can’t stop loving him, so I’m going to see his race today as well. I miss him so much that I long to talk to him. I’m still hoping for a miracle and for him to become mine. I don’t know why deep inside I have a feeling he misses me as well.

I am aware of how foolish I am, yet I cannot give up since hope is what gives me strength and keeps me alive. You already know that Manik is my life, and admiring him has become an addiction for me. Now, Diary, I’ll talk to you later because I’m going to see his race.

She sighed and closed the diary before rising from her desk to get ready.

She arrived at the venue wearing a scarf with a grey polka dot pattern covering her face, sunglasses, and a cap as usual.

After three arduous days, she smiled as she saw Manik wearing his helmet and then sitting astride his bike. He was looking hot in a black leather jacket and black jeans, as usual, and driving her insane.

“Why are you a playboy, Manik?” She dejectedly murmured, staring at him, her innocent eyes were filled with sorrow.

The race began, and he drove off, while she cheered for him and watched him on the big screen. She forgot about everything and started doing her favourite thing: admiring him.

The next moment only, her heart stopped beating and her eyes dilated in horror as his bike crashed into the tree.

She jumped to her feet and dashed out the door. Driving her car at full speed, she kept praying to God for him, “Please God! Nothing should happen to him.”

As quickly as she could, she reached the spot where Manik’s bike had been crashed. She was becoming restless. She merely wanted to make sure he was fine.

When she stepped out of the car, she noticed two men putting him on a stretcher.

“Thank you, God!” She breathed a sigh of relief as he appeared to be fine, but still, tears were streaming down her cheeks constantly. She just wanted to rush up to him and hug him.

When men were placing Manik in the ambulance, his eyes seemed to be scouring for someone. His gaze finally settled on Nandini, but she immediately ducked behind the tree. Her face was still concealed with the grey scarf but still, she didn’t want him to recognise her.

As the ambulance left, she sat inside the car and drove off.

When she returned home, she immediately enabled the sim to message him.

Her mouth dropped open in shock as she saw 100+ messages from his number.

Why are you not responding?

Where are you?

Did you block me?

Why?

I made the wrong assumption that you were unique and would never leave me. But you are the same.

I regretted that day when I replied to you.

Please, at least, explain why you blocked me.

It’s been two days, I’m still waiting for your reply.

I’m missing you, Miss Admirer.

You promised me that you would never abandon me.

Why are you doing this?

After reading a few of his messages, her eyes welled up with tears because he didn’t seem to be talking to her just for fun.

She wondered, ‘did I think wrong about him?’

Miss SA: Hey, how are you?

He called her as soon as he received her message.

She took a deep breath before answering it, “hello.” After hearing her euphonious voice after three long days, he closed his eyes in contentment.

“I anticipated that you would certainly call me after my accident. It was my plan.” Her eyes widened in shock after knowing this.

“Are you crazy? What if something happened to you? Why did you do this, Manik?” She freaked out.

“I just know one thing that something would have undoubtedly happened to me if you hadn’t messaged me just now. Do you have any idea, what was my condition after you disappeared, and you didn’t leave any option to me? I wanted to know why did you break your promise and disappear like this.” He shut her mouth with his words.

His words clearly demonstrated how insane he had become since her disappearance, and she felt guilty for doubting her love.

“But still, you shouldn’t have done this,” she said because she would have never been able to forgive herself if something had happened to him.

“And you disappeared by breaking your promise, was that right?” He questioned her, and she felt so much pain in his voice that automatically tears streamed down her cheeks, and she chided herself for hurting him and breaking the promise she had made to him.

“I’m sorry. You have no idea how much I’ve cried over the last three days.” She told him in a forlorn tone, wiping away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.

“Then why did you disappear like this?” He asked her concernedly.

Why did she disappear if she was in so much pain after leaving him? He just wanted to know why his secret admirer did this to him and herself when she had promised him that she would never leave him.

‘How do I tell you that I overheard your conversation with Ethan and didn’t trust you?’ She closed her eyes in remorse because she doubted her love.

“I just assumed you were talking to me for fun. I’m so sorry.” She apologised from the bottom of her heart and mechanically a sob escaped out of her mouth. He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was filled with remorse.

“No, Miss Admirer, you assumed wrong. I feel a strong connection with you. I was perplexed a few days ago as to what was happening to me and why I was changing. But in these three days, I’ve realised how special you are to me. When I talk to you, I feel liberated and happy. For the first time, a woman makes my heart sing. I’m not sure why, but I’ve begun to like you. My day is now incomplete unless I speak with you. I’m hooked on how you make me feel. Yes! You’re becoming my addiction, which is why I became antsy without talking to you. Now I don’t want my day to end without speaking with you; without you, I feel completely incomplete. Please never ignore me in this manner again; your ignorance hurts me greatly.” She was speechless after hearing what he felt for her, and every word he said directly touched her heart.

After hearing his conversation with Ethan, she assumed he was just talking to her for fun, but now she felt both guilty and overjoyed as her love began to like her. She was on cloud nine. Her lips curved into a contented smile, and tears of joy streamed down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ignore you. This time I’m giving you my words that I’ll never disappear like this. Please, forgive me.” She apologised to him again and again, genuinely guilty.

“This is the last time I’m forgiving you. Otherwise, I’ll break my promise and find you.” He warned her in a stern tone.

She felt so fortunate to know that he kept his promise even after she had broken hers. Today she realised how much she had changed the devil because if he had been an old Manik, he would have found her anyway in his rage, but he didn’t.

“Thank you for keeping your word.” She thanked him from the bottom of her heart with a beatific smile stained on her face, relieved to be able to speak with him after three days.

She was overjoyed because, as usual, her hope triumphed in the end. She was aware that it was the power of her prayer that had once again drawn him to her.

“Now also can’t we meet?” As he asked her, she chuckled.

“Patience has its sweet reward, My HB.”

“Mr HB is so funny.” As he said, she giggled. “I’m so happy that finally, you’re talking to me.” He spoke merrily.

“Feelings are mutual.” She smiled with utter contentment.

“You know, I was anxious that what happened to you suddenly. It was getting so difficult for me to go through my days without you. Seriously you’re doing some kind of magic over me.” He confessed genuinely.

“I think this is the result of my prayers. You won’t believe it, but I’ve always wished to have you in my every prayer,” she admitted.

“Now I also believe that this magic is happening as a result of your prayers.” A contented smile wasn’t leaving his face; he felt so fortunate to have a crazy admirer like her with such a pure heart and such unwavering devotion to him

“I’m grateful, and I’m extremely sorry for mistrusting you.” She was genuinely sorry for misinterpreting him.

He didn’t like how she was apologising to him repeatedly because now he couldn’t see her like this.

“Being suspicious of a playboy like me is normal. But, please, never do this again.” He implored.

“Never. Shit! I almost forgot to ask you, how are you?” She questioned him.

“I’m fine, just got a few scratches.”

“Never do these types of stunts again,” she warned him in a stern tone.

“I’ll do this if you again disappear like this. So think thousands of times before doing this.” He said in an evil tone.

“I’ll never think to disappear like this again because now I trust you.” As she said, a smile of contentment flashed on his face. After hearing these words from her mouth, he felt a sense of calm.

“So meet me. And now please don’t say again that patience has its sweet reward.”

“I was going to say this only.” She laughed out.

“By the way, you were looking stunning today in a white crop top, black shorts, and grey scarf.” He beamed as he complimented her, recalling the moment when his gaze fell on her.

‘Shit! He had caught me!’ She slightly hit her head.

“Thank you!” She just thanked him, not understanding what to say.

“At least I got your glimpse.” He grinned widely.

“I think now you’re becoming my admirer.” She giggled.

“Yes, I also think this. God! What are you doing to me.”

“Magic of my prayers, Manik.” She chuckled.

“Yeah, right!” He agreed, nodding, and they both laughed out.

Someone knocked on Nandini’s room door, interrupting their endless conversation.

“Hey, listen. I’ll call you later. Someone is at the door.” She told him.

“Okay!”

“Bye, take care.” She disconnected the call and went to open the door.

“Nandini, Manik had an accident, I’m going to meet him.“ Ethan said anxiously.

‘I also want to go to meet him.’ She thought and just asked him, “could I go with you?”

“Yeah, sure.” As he agreed, she smiled slightly.

‘Thank God! Now I can go and see him.’ She wondered, walking out of the house with him.

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