Secretly Loving You (13• The Pain Of Love) Sidnaaz

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Sana texted him the following morning after getting ready for college.

Miss SA: I’ll talk to you after three hours.

My Hot Biker: Okay! By the way, I renamed your contact.

Miss SA: What did you keep?

My Hot Biker: Miss SA.

She laughed out.

Miss SA: So from now I’ll call you Mr HB.

My Hot Biker: HB what?

Miss SA: Hot Biker!

She texted a heart emoji and he sent a laughing emoji.

Miss SA: Bye for now. Otherwise, I’ll be late because of you.

My Hot Biker: Bye, take care.

She sent him the heart emoji.

When she stepped out, her eyes sparkled as she noticed Sidharth sitting with Ethan in the hall.

“What’s the matter, dude, you’re always on your phone these days?” Ethan inquired.

“Nothing, I’m just talking to one girl,” Sidharth replied casually.

“And that girl is me.” She murmured, beaming.

“Someone special.” Ethan teased him, nudging him, and her eyes glowed with curiosity as she awaited his response.

But as she listened to his unexpected response, her smile faded into a frown.

“No, I’m just having fun. Actually, she isn’t ready to meet me, and I’m just trying to show her that I’m interested in her so that she’ll agree to meet me, and then I can fuck her.” Sana’s heart broke down after listening to his words and tears welled in her eyes. She wasn’t expecting this from him.

“God! You’ll never change, Sidharth.” Ethan shook his head in disbelief.

“Never,” Sidharth said, eyes musing on the table.

“God! You’re changing.” “Because of you.” As the night’s conversation echoed in her ears, tears trickled down her eyes mechanically. She was in such anguish that it felt like someone had stabbed her in the chest.

“So it was all a lie, and he’s not changing. He’s only doing it because he wants to fuck me.” She took a step back, crying. “I just can’t believe it,” she murmured, shaking her head.

She pressed her palm against her mouth to keep her sobs at bay, staring at Sidharth in complete bewilderment with her sorrowful eyes.

“And I’m like a fool, thinking that he’s changing because of me. For the first time, I’m hating myself for blindly loving him.” She dashed out of the house, crying.

As Ethan saw her, he called her, “Sana.”

“This girl never takes her breakfast, and then she falls ill.” He said, shaking his head.

She shed silent tears after sitting in her car. She had been so happy the night before, and now she was completely broken. She felt as if her soul had been ripped from her body. She was overjoyed when she realised she was changing him, but a part of her died today after seeing his true face.

“His words, vibes, everything felt so genuine to me. God, I still can’t believe he’s just talking to me because he wants to fuck,” she couldn’t finish her sentence and sobbed like a broken soul.

Because of her unwavering love for him, she was unable to recognise that he was manipulating her sentiments because everything he said to her felt so genuine.

“After knowing this, I can’t talk to him.” She murmured, shaking her head and gripping the steering.

She wiped her tears and drove off after deciding that she wouldn’t talk to him and would move on.

It was not in her destiny to forget Sidharth and move on. God was just testing her devotion to him.

***

After three hours, she stepped out of the examination hall with her heart broken, her lips drew down in despair, and her eyes filled with sorrow.

She felt out of the world after talking to him and began hoping that one day she would undoubtedly win his heart, but he crushed her all hopes.

As her phone beeped, she checked it. She scowled because it was his message.

My Hot Biker: Free now? It’s been more than three hours now.

Miss SA: Bye.

She sent this message and immediately disabled the sim because she knew she wouldn’t be able to ignore him if he messaged her.

“Why did you do this to me, Sidharth?” She murmured, staring at his photo with her sorrowful eyes and fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.

She couldn’t understand how she could still be in love with the person who was causing her so much pain.

When she arrived home, she found Ethan and Ella sitting in the hall. She dashed over to them and hugged Ethan after sitting beside him. She sobbed, which worried them both. He raised his brows at Ella, asking her ‘what happened to Sana?’

Ella shook her head, unsure of what had happened to her.

“What happened, Sana? Didn’t your exam go well?” He asked in a concerned tone, stroking her hair.

“Hmm…” she sniffled.

Ella understood that there was a connection to Sidharth after seeing Sana in such distress.

“It’s fine. Don’t shed any tears. You’re going to ace the next exam.” He explained to her while rubbing her back.

“Hmm.” Ethan and Ella exchanged worried glances as she responded in the same manner.

He kissed her hair, and she stopped crying because she felt better in the arms of her brother.

She came out of his arms and wiped her tears after a few minutes. He properly tucked her hair behind her ears.

She rose to her feet. “I’m all right now. I just come.” She hurried to her room before they could stop her.

Ethan stared anxiously at the door to her room.

“I’ll talk to her. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine.” Ella reassured him, holding his hand and slightly squeezing it.

He just gave her a slight nod, and she went to Sana’s room.

She entered Sana’s room and found her sitting at the window, dejectedly staring out.

“What happened Barbie?” She asked as she sat beside her.

“Sidharth was chatting to me and showing interest in me because he just wanted to meet me and have a sexual encounter with me.” Sana burst into tears after telling this to Ella.

“How can you be so sure?” Ella asked her, confused.

“I overheard him talking to Ethan this morning. Ella,” she sobbed, “I thought he was genuinely interested in me. I don’t like him for the first time.”

“Sh… relax. Just calm down.” She took her in a hug.

“I’m not feeling good. I wanna talk to him but I can’t after knowing this.” She cried out. “How can I be okay, Ella? I’m in so much pain because of him, yet he won’t leave my heart. Tell me what I should do.”

Her words vividly showed that she still loved him.

“You’ll be fine, Sana. For Ethan, please calm down. He is so worried for you.” She rubbed her back.

“I can’t pretend in front of him that I’m fine when I’m not, Ella.” She said, shaking her head after coming out of her arms.

“I know it’s difficult, but you have to,” Ella explained, wiping her tears.

“I think you’re right. I can’t upset Ethan because of me.” She said, wiping her tears.

“Everything gets fine with time and you’ll be fine too,” Ella reassured her, holding her hand. She just gave Ella a slight nod.

“Who will eat Ice cream?” They both looked at the door when they heard Ethan’s cheerful voice.

Ethan arrived with a tub of chocolate ice cream, Sana’s favourite.

“Wow! My favourite flavour of ice cream is chocolate. Only I’ll eat.” Sana stood up and snatched the ice cream tub from him while pretending to be fine.

“But we want to eat too,” Ella said.

“Bring yours, it’s mine. I won’t share.” She started eating while sitting on the bed. Ethan and Ella just smiled at her.

They both watched the movie with her and tried to keep her happy throughout the day.

***

She was rolling on the bed and changing positions at night because she had developed the habit of sleeping while talking to him in just a few days. She was missing him terribly. Only she knew how she was refraining from texting him. She still desired to speak with him despite being aware that he had no interest in her.

True love is when someone breaks your heart into a million pieces and you still love them with all of your broken pieces.

She struggled mightily to get through the night and could only manage two hours of sleep.

***

She was preparing breakfast for Ethan the following morning, a Sunday.

She was thinking about Sidharth’s words and chopping the vegetables as if she was venting her rage on them.

Sidharth stepped into the kitchen to get some water, and he shook his head when he saw her cutting the vegetables while entirely preoccupied with her thoughts.

“Do you want to cut your finger today as well?” She came to a halt and stared at him as he asked her after standing beside her.

“What’s the big deal? They are my fingers, I’ll cut them as many times as I want. Why are you meddling?” His eyes widened in shock as she yelled at him and pointed the knife in his face before storming out of the kitchen.

He couldn’t figure out why she yelled at him.

“She is unbelievable, complete kiddo !” He mumbled and exited the kitchen.

She was upset with him because he broke her pure heart, but he was unaware of this.

***

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