Desire To Control Her (Part: 66 I Hate You)


Butterfly’s P.O.V.

As Mary told me that she saw Ethan going to the Art room, I reached there. I gasped and my eyes dilated in horror as I saw one of our paintings slowly burning. How could he burn our memories? I’m feeling like our love is burning with this.

No, I won’t let it burn. I’ll protect our memories and love both.

I rushed to the painting and without caring about anything else, I tried to extinguish it with my hands, burning them. I just want to protect it, no matter what. My inner pain is so much that I’m not feeling any physical pain right now. Silent tears are constantly trickling down my cheeks.

“Are you crazy? What are you doing? You’ll get hurt.” Ethan freaked out, pulling me away from the burning painting.

I hurt him so badly and he’s still showing so much care towards me. Today I have fallen in love with him a bit more.

“Ethan, our memory is burning. I can’t let this happen.” I cried out sorrowfully, staring at him while he is checking my burned hands worriedly, his eyes are filled with concern for me. A small smile flashed on my face in this state also, seeing that he still cares for me.

As he saw my smile, he frowned and left my hands. “Why the fuck do our memories matter to you now when you have already left me?” He roared at me, clenching my arms and pulling me to himself. His eyes are blood red, scorching with anger.

I have never seen him so angry before in my life. I just hate him to see in anger and it’s hurting me more because I’m the reason he is so angry and hurt.

“Just leave everything and tell me why did you again come to meet a monster.” He asked, dangerously coming close to my face. I just quietly stared at him with guilt in my eyes, not understanding where to start.

“I’m sorry. I should-should have trus-trusted you.” I apologised, stuttering. I’m afraid of his anger.

“But you didn’t trust me.” He thundered, making me flinch. “You have no faith in me, Anna.” He added, shattering my heart into millions of pieces by not calling me Butterfly. Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks mechanically.

“I’m sorry, I should have,”

“Just get lost from here. I don’t want to see your face.” He said curtly, cutting my words and pushing me away from himself.

“I won’t go. I came here to get you back and to earn your forgiveness.” I stated, looking at him with determination.

“But I’m never going to forgive you, Anna.” Every time he is calling me ‘Anna’, it’s hurting me a bit more. “And I’m going to burn everything which reminds of you to me.” He took out the lighter again and my eyes widened.

He already has burned one of our paintings, I won’t let him destroy our memories anymore. I know now he is doing this in anger but later he gonna regret it.

“Ethan, please, don’t do something which you regret later on,” I warned him but I felt like my words went to deaf ears because he didn’t even look at me.

He was just about to open the lighter but I hurriedly snatched the lighter from his hand and flung it out of the window.

“I’ll not let you destroy us,” I said with full confidence, grabbing his face and looking into his with so much love.

“But you have already destroyed us,” he grasped my hair and snarled in a disappointed tone, yanking my head back and his words directly hit the core of my heart.

“I’m sorry,” I cried out guiltily and he let go of my hair.

He shot daggers at me. “Just get lost from here.” He growled, making me wince.

“No, I won’t go until you forgive me and talk to me,” I said in a stubborn tone.

“That’s never going to happen because I’m never going to forgive you.” He stated in a livid tone after marching to me.

“I’m certain that you’ll forgive me because you love me.” As I said with full confidence, his eyes widened slightly in shock.

Yes, I know he loves me, the way he cares for me, vividly shows that he loves me too.

He scoffed, “who said I love you, Anna. I hate you.” He said curtly after yanking me to himself again by clutching my arms, tears rolled down my cheeks and my heart cried badly.

But deep inside I know he just said in the fit of anger.

“Now are you going or do you want me to throw you out?” He asked after shoving me away.

“Please, Ethan, at least listen to me. I had just lost my mind after watching the video yesterday,”

“Shut up,” he yelled, cutting my words.

“Please, forgive me. I love you.” I finally confessed my love, crying. I never thought that I would confess like this but I had no other left with me.

He became silent for a few seconds and just stared at me blankly.

“I think you won’t go like this.” He seized my wrist and started dragging me out of the mansion.

Suddenly my eyes noticed the knuckles of his one hand, it’s bleeding badly.

“Ethan your hand, it’s bleeding.” As I touched his hand, he stopped dragging me out and closed his eyes because of my touch. After a few seconds only, he hurled away my hand in anger and promptly stood facing his back to me.

I hurt my love so badly, I’m hating myself so much right now.

“You need dressing,” I uttered because I can’t see him in pain. I again held his hand softly after coming in front of him, but he again threw away my hand and turned away his face, ignoring my words.

“Don’t dare to touch me again, Anna!” He warned me, staring at me dangerously, fresh tears started falling down my cheeks after listening to his words, my heart is crying badly now.

I again lost the right to touch him.

I destroyed everything from my hand.

I felt like killing myself.

But can’t fall weak, I will make everything right between us.

“Ethan, it’ll hurt you more if you don’t do dressing.” I cried after saying this, touching his hand again.

“You have already hurt me so much that this isn’t hurting me a bit even.” I can vividly feel immense pain in his voice and eyes.

And I’m the reason for this pain.

Oh, God! I can take this pain. I’m feeling like I have lost everything.

Please Ethan forgive me! Please forgive your butterfly.

“If you again touch me, I’ll hurt my other hand too and I’m damn serious this time.” He warned grimly, I just stared at him in utter shock.

Why he is punishing himself? I’m the reason for his pain, I broke his heart, he should punish me.

“Okay! I’m not touching you, but Ethan please don’t separate me from yourself, you can punish me as much as you can but don’t do this, don’t throw me like this from your heart.” I cried out miserably in front of him.

He closed his eyes dejectedly, I know it is hurting him more after seeing me in tears.

He grasped my arm and again started taking me outside, ignoring my words.

“Ethan, please, don’t separate me from you. I really love you. I won’t able to live without you.” I’m screaming and begging him to don’t throw me out like this from his life.

“You won’t be able to live without me? Really? Did you forget just a few hours back you had left me? How can I separate us, Anna because you have already separated us.” He shouted before pushing me out of the mansion.

“At least, don’t end our BDSM relationship, please, Master. You can punish me or beat me but please don’t push me away from yourself.” I pleaded because I just want to stay with him no matter what.

“Our that relationship was also based on trust, Anna and you have ended everything between us by not trusting me. Goodbye, Anna.” He bid me a bye in fury before shutting the door on my face. I just kept sobbing fretfully.

“Please, forgive me, Ethan. I can’t live without you.” I cried out, resting my forehead on the door and holding the handle. It’s hurting me so much. I’m filled with remorse for not trusting him. Everything was going so perfect between us, we were so happy but that video spoiled everything between us.

But wait for a second, who sent that video to me? After seeing the video yesterday, I had gone into a complete shock that I didn’t even think about this. I’m certain that person would have sent the video with the evil intention of separating us. I’m fucking not going to leave whosoever that person is. He tried to create misunderstandings between us.

But before this, I have to earn Ethan’s forgiveness and for this, I’m ready to do anything. But what to do, he isn’t even talking to me?

Either I’m angry with myself, I should have come to him yesterday only after seeing the video and I shouldn’t have accused him. Oh God, please, do some miracle and send him back to me.

“What if he never forgives me?” My breath became heavy and my body started trembling with only the thought of living without him. I can’t even imagine my life without him. I tried to walk, rubbing my chest but it’s not helping me. Now I’m feeling like the world is spinning in front of my eyes and my mind is only thinking, “how will I live without him if he doesn’t give me a second chance?”

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