“What? Why?” I asked her in utter shock as soon as she told me that she can’t live with me anymore.
Why she is saying this?
After listening to her words, I felt like someone has stabbed a knife into my heart, it’s hurting a lot.
A life without her is like living without oxygen.
I can’t live without her.
She is the only reason for my joy.
How could she say this to me when she knows that I’m addicted to her?
I can’t think about my life without her because she is the beat of my heart, the oxygen to my lungs.
She stayed silent, looking down and tears are tricking down her cheeks nonstop which are breaking my heart more than her words.
God! I can’t bear to see any pain on her cute face.
I moved closer to her, she gazed at me with her wet eyes, I can see immense pain in her eyes, which is killing me from inside. I gently wiped off the tears from her face before kissing her both eyelids, I just want to erase her pain through these kisses.
But what is the reason behind her pain, have I done something wrong with her?
“Did I do something wrong with you, Butterfly? Did I hurt you?” I asked in a soft voice, clasping her hand.
“No.” She finally looked at me with her sorrowful eyes and cried out, shaking her head.
“Then why?” I cried out too, gripping her hand tighter.
“You’re a monster. You’re not a good person.” A loud sob escaped out of her mouth.
“Are you saying this because I’m dominant and I like to control women?” I asked her still in a calm tone and I’m still not understanding what happened to her all of sudden.
“No, it’s not just about controlling,” she hiccuped, “you force them.”
“What?” I asked in shock. “I had already told you, Butterfly that I never force any woman.”
She is not in her senses right now I think
“But I saw a video in which you were forcing a woman and treating her so harshly. She was asking you to stop but you weren’t stopping. How could you do this? You’re my sweet Master. I can’t believe that you were a monster in past.” As she told me, my eyes widened in shock.
What she is saying? Is she out of her mind?
“What video?” I asked her in utter shock.
She took out her phone and showed me the video.
It’s a role-playing video. The woman is acting in that video.
Fuck! She thought I’m raping that woman in the video? How could she even think this?
Still, she has no trust in me.
She trusted this video and just left me. I can’t believe that she doesn’t trust me.
I never ever forced her and did something against her will, still, she thought this about me.
It’s hurting me so much!
This was the only reason, I used to run away from love because it shatters the person’s heart so brutally.
I clenched my hands to control my anger and my eyes became blood-red in anger.
“Please, say that this is a fake video. You can’t do this. You’re so sweet.”
Ignoring her words, I freaked out. “Yes, I’m a monster and this video is not fake.” I shrieked in fury, clutching her arms, yanking her closer to me, making her flinch and she stared at me in utter shock and with hurtful eyes.
I’m angry because she doesn’t trust me. I made her my life and thought that she would never hurt me. But she isn’t different, she also broke my heart. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with her.
My heart is aching badly from the inside. I hadn’t expected this from her.
I can’t believe that my Butterfly thinks this about me.
I came dangerously close to her face and growled, “you should be afraid of me because I can do the same with you.”
“Leave me.” She cried out, turning away her face.
Now she isn’t even liking my closeness.
Oh, God! It’s hurting me so much.
My heart is breaking into millions of pieces.
This pain will kill me for sure.
I never thought that she would become the reason for my pain someday.
“I force women and now I don’t want to explain anything. So just leave.” I thundered after turning around because I’m so fucking angry right now and I know I might hurt her which is the last thing I want to do in my life.
I heard the sound of her running out of the mansion and the vase falling on the floor.
I turned around and saw the broken pieces of vase. As this vase, she shattered my heart too.
Tears started rolling down my cheeks mechanically, I closed my eyes shut in so much pain and as I wiped my tears from the back of my hand, fresh tears trickled down.
She is gone, living me heartbroken, alone. She believed in my words, on that video without thinking what kind of person I’m.
My heart is broken into so many pieces that now it can never be fixed.
I fucking love her so much and she doesn’t even trust me. She decided to leave me forever after seeing the video without even talking to me and I had thought that she would never leave me. I’m such a fool. I again became a fool in love. I shouldn’t have let her come close to me in the first place. It’s all my fault.
I fucking hate the word ‘love’.
Yesterday I excitedly got ready to meet Sidharth but that time only I received a video from an unknown number. I saw the video and my eyes dilated in utter shock, seeing Sidharth forcing a woman in the video. He was treating her so harshly and sexually assaulting her. I couldn’t believe my eyes and tears started trickling down my cheeks mechanically. I felt like the floor slipped down beneath my feet. The person whom I love so much used to do this with other women in past before meeting me.
I started breathing heavily and my whole body started trembling because of the shock. I wasn’t understanding what was happening to me. The phone slipped down from my hand to the floor.
“My Sidharth can never force any women! But what if he used to do this in past with other women? I know now he has changed but I can’t stay with the person who used to do this with women in past. But I love him so much, I can’t live without him.” My mind was twirling because so many things were revolving in my mind at that time. I felt like I’m going to faint.
I wasn’t understanding what I should do because I wasn’t feeling like meeting him after seeing the video. I just needed alone time to think about this.
Therefore I went to a hotel and spent my whole night in the hotel room, pondering about him there. I messaged Eve as I didn’t want her to become worried for me before switching off my phone again because I was sure Sidharth would constantly try to call me and I didn’t want to talk to him.
Finally, I gathered courage and decided to meet him in a hope that whatever I’m thinking, would be wrong but Sidharth broke my last hope too by telling me that the video isn’t fake.
But deep inside, I don’t know why I’m still feeling like my Sidharth can’t do this.
I came back home and told everything to Eve.
“I’m completely shattered, Eve. I still love him so much but I can’t be with the person who used to force women in past.” I’m crying my heart aloud in front of Eve. “But I want to be with him,”
Suddenly she uttered, cutting my words, “you’re thinking wrong, Sana. He never forced anyone.”
I instantly asked her, “what about that video?”
“I think that video is a role play video. Sidharth was the strictest Dom but he never forced anybody and did anything going against woman’s will.” Eve explained to me and I sighed with profound relief, closing my eyes.
I’m feeling like I got my breath back. I’m so relieved because my Sidharth didn’t do something wrong.
“But who made such videos?” I asked, confused.
“Few of Masters made videos of their sessions.” She told me, I made O mouth.
Fuck! I doubted Sidharth. But why didn’t he tell me about this? I think he must be angry because I didn’t trust him.
Shit! I should have trusted him. I spoiled everything between us.
Will he forgive me?
I hurt him badly.
I have to go to meet him now. I am determined to take whatever action is necessary to rectify the mistake. No matter how much he shouts at me because I deserve this for not trusting her.
“Eve, I have to go,” I said, wiping my tears.
She asked, “where?”
“To meet Sidharth. I hurt him a lot.” Fresh tears trickled down my cheeks.
“Don’t worry, everything will be fine.” She reassured me, wiping my tears.
I just hugged Eve and thanked her. “Thank you for always supporting me.”
“Now go and win his heart back.” She encouraged me, clasping my face as we broke the hug.
“Of course, I’ll.” I gave her a faint smile.
I’m so sorry that I didn’t trust you, Sidharth but, now I can do anything to make everything fine between us.
Because I love you so much.
I can’t let him go from my life like this.
He is my life.
My everything, my sun, my moon and the air I breathe, to me nothing exists except him, I love him.
I’m standing bare chest before the mirror of the bathroom and staring at the tattoo of Butterfly on my chest with rage in my eyes.
When I made this tattoo, I was so happy, wondering I got the love of my life. She took me out of darkness, but now she is the only one who is pushing me to the same darkness again.
Why didn’t you trust me Sana?
It’s hurting badly.
“I fucking trusted her so much and gave my heart to her but what did she do to me? She smashed my heart and my soul.” I gritted my teeth and harshly scratched the tattoo with my nails because right now I just want to erase her name from my heart like this. It’s not hurting me a bit even while scratching my chest because the pain which I’m feeling from inside is so intense.
“I just can’t believe that she has no faith in me and I was thinking she would never leave me.” I cried out, placing my both hands and head against the mirror. It’s hurting me so much. I’m angry and extremely hurt both at the same time.
“I’m never going to forgive you, Sana, never.” I clenched my fist and hit it on the mirror in fury, wounding my knuckles.
I put on the shirt before storming out of the bathroom, slamming the door. I came to my art room, now this whole room is filled with her and our beautiful paintings. So many memories of us are attached to these paintings, but today I’ll burn them all. I’m gonna destroy everything which reminds me of Butterfly exactly as she destroyed us. It’ll be difficult but I have to do it.
I don’t care if I also get destroyed but no matter what I will destroy everything related to her.
I took out the lighter and flickered it open before taking the flame near to one of our paintings in which we’re sitting naked in each other arms. I recalled the moment when we were sitting like this and our bare bodies were rubbing against each other and giving us immense pleasure. Every moment which I have spent with her is so beautiful which I can never forget. It’s hurting me so much to burn our memories with my hands.
I’m feeling like I burning my heart and soul with our painting.
Slowly the painting started burning like my heart. I never thought that I would ever do this. It’s killing me from inside. I’m feeling like this is a nightmare.
I’m feeling like she is going from my life forever.
Suddenly I started feeling empty and incomplete, my heart started aching profoundly. I can’t even breathe properly right now. I’m feeling like I will die because of this immense pain.
She is my everything and I’m nothing without her. She is my happiness, my peace, the reason I smile.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks like rain.
“No,” suddenly I heard Butterfly’s shout and saw her rushing to our painting which is burning like our dreams.
Sorry, she is not my butterfly anymore, she is only Sana to me now.
Why she has come back now?
My eyes widened in horror when she tried to stop the painting from burning with her bare hands, hurting herself. This girl never thinks about herself!