Desire To Control Her (Part: 39 Mr Rude) Sidnaaz


“What are you saying? I don’t love somebody else, I love,” I instantly stopped after realising that I was just going to confess my love to him.

“You love somebody else, Sana. I came to your place tomorrow and I heard it from my ears.” I narrowed my brows bemusedly.

“I’m not understanding what you’re talking about, Sidharth. I don’t love somebody else. Please, trust me. You think I’m this type of girl.” I cried out.

“But I saw you yesterday in somebody else arms and you said to him that you love him.” He cried too and it hurts me more.

“When?” I asked, clueless.

“Yesterday at night, I came to your place because I was,” he paused, “missing you.”

Is he talking about Ryan? Soon it struck my mind.

Did he see me with him and misunderstand everything?


“Sidharth, yesterday night, my cousin came to my place. You must have seen him with me.” I clarified but I’m badly hurt because he didn’t trust me.

“He was your cousin?” He asked me in shock.

I nodded dejectedly. “You said that trust is most important in our relationship but you don’t trust me, Sidharth. You judged me and declared me as a culprit without clarifying anything with me.”Guilt is etched into every line of his face. “You didn’t even notice that I was wearing your t-shirt last night.” Fresh tears trickled down my cheeks. It is hurting a lot after knowing that he doesn’t trust me a bit even.

He thought I wasn’t loyal to him. I’m in a relationship with him and he assumed that I love somebody else.

How could he think this?

Now he is just staring down in guilt and not even looking at me.

“Today you called me here to punish me for cheating you. Right?” I asked him and he instantly looked up at me. His eyes are filled with remorse.

“I’m sorry.” He apologised, crying.

“Sorry is not going to work Sidharth, you have hurt me badly.” I dashed out of the room, crying profusely, palming my mouth.

Sidharth’s P.O.V.

What did I do? I ruined everything because of my past. I broke my Butterfly’s beautiful heart. I gave her tears which I hate the most. I took the smile from her face. I became the reason for her sadness. I’m such a bad person, that’s why I don’t deserve her.

I misunderstood everything, he was her cousin and I thought she loves somebody else.

I punched on the wall in rage and blood oozed out from the knuckles. I’m angry with myself. Why I didn’t trust her?

I could have asked her before reacting and getting rude to her.

She is so hurt.

I’m sorry, Butterfly! I’m so sorry.

I gazed at her smiling painting which I had made with my hands yesterday and murmured dejectedly, “I took away her beautiful smile. I deserve punishment.”

What I should do now?

I’m in deep remorse. Dev is right I can’t ruin my present again and again by thinking about my past. I have to move on, it’s high time.

Now I’ll do anything to earn her forgiveness and ask her to punish me.

I’m coming to you, Butterfly and now I won’t let my past come in between us. I swear now I won’t make you cry. I’ll tell you that you’re my long lost peace and now my desires are changed. Now I don’t want to control you, rather I want to make you mine forever.

Sana’s P.O.V.

I still can’t believe that he thought I love somebody else. I’m angry and hurt both at the same time.

I’m sitting on the sofa and so many buckets of Ice cream are kept on the table. I’m eating them to lessen my anger.

“He promised me that he would never behave rudely with me but he again behaved rudely with me.” I’m talking to myself and crying constantly while eating the Ice cream.

“He thought I’m cheating him. How could he?” I sobbed and rubbed my nose with the sleeve of my top.

“He hurt me so much. I won’t forgive him.” I stated and ate the Ice cream.

I finished one of the buckets of Ice cream and began eating the other one, continuously complaining about him to myself.

But I’m becoming even angrier.

“He told me that trust is most important in this relationship and he didn’t trust me a bit even. Why, Sana, why do you have to fall in love with him only?” I screamed.

Then only I saw him walking into my home, staring at me and my surroundings.

I instantly stood up and yelled at him, “now what are you doing here, Mr Rude Shukla?”

Sidharth’s P.O.V.

I reached his place without wasting a single second to apologise and to take my punishment.

I stepped inside, so angry with myself and in a very depressing mood but as soon as I saw my butterfly, eating Ice cream adorably while complaining about me to herself, my soul lightened up and a small smile spread across my face.

Only she has the power to make me smile at this moment when I’m so angry and guilty.

I’m glad I was proved wrong today that she doesn’t love someone else because I can’t lose the sunshine of my life. She has brought colours to my dark life. My life was utterly black and white before meeting her. She filled my life with colours.

And this is one of the reasons that I call her Butterfly.

My colourful beautiful Butterfly.

Perfect name for a perfect girl like her.

My Butterfly, she is only mine.

I’ll give all the happiness of the world to her which she deserves. A pure soul like her only deserves happiness.

As she moved her eyes to me, I immediately hid my smile.

She stood up and snarled at me, “now what are you doing here, Mr Rude Shukla?”

“I came here to earn your forgiveness, Butterfly.” I told her.

“But I won’t forgive you, just get lost.” She hurled the cushion over me in anger and continued shouting at me, “now why are you calling me Butterfly. You have lost the right to call me Butterfly. Call me Sana.”

“You can beat me Butterfly how much you want because I deserve,” I paused when suddenly she threw the Ice Cream over me from the bucket, spoiling my clothes and face.

“Butterfly…” I shrieked, cleaning the Ice cream from my face.

But next moment only I clutched my hands and controlled myself from shouting at her more because I deserve this, I deserve her anger.

“So again the Rude and angry hulk Shukla is back.” She shouted at me but I stayed silent.

“Now why did you become silent, come on shout at me because it’s your hobby. Right?” She provoked me, throwing the Ice cream from another bucket over me.

But I stayed calm this time and keenly gazed into her eyes. I can vividly see in her eyes that she is badly hurt and it’s hurt me more because I’m the reason, she is hurt because of me.

I strolled to her and clasped her face. “I’m sorry, Butterfly.” I apologised from the core of my heart and for a few seconds, she got lost in my eyes.

“Sorry for what?” She asked curtly, removing my hands from her face.

“Sorry for hurting you and making you cry. I just lost my mind when I saw you with someone else. It’s not easy for me to trust people. You can punish me but please forgive me and give me a second chance.”

“You hurt me, Sidharth.” A sob escape from her mouth and I felt a sharp pain in my heart. She continued, “and why it’s so difficult for you to trust me, Sidharth?”

I took a deep breath and stared at her silently, not understanding where to start.

But I have to tell her now everything. I can’t hurt my Butterfly more.

“Because somebody in the past had betrayed me and after that, I became like this because I didn’t want to get hurt. That’s why I never let any girl come close to me, I had formed a wall around my heart. I’m sorry, Butterfly, I had no intention to hurt you. I just lost my senses.” Now a sorrowful cry escaped out of my mouth and tears found their way out of my eyes.

How do I explain to her that it’s not easy for me to trust people?

But the next moment unexpectedly she hugged me tightly, pulling me as closer as she can.

She cried in my arms, burying her face in my chest. “Please, trust me, Sidharth. I’m not that type of girl. I won’t betray you. Please, stop hurting yourself and me because of your past. I promise I’ll help you to move on from your past but please, give me a chance to me, to us.”

I embraced her in my warm arms and let her hug me for the first time because now I don’t want to push her away from me. I really want to move on this time by accepting her. I pulled her closer to myself, feeling so relieved and peaceful in her arms. I really needed this hug, I never felt like this before in anybody’s arms, I felt like I found my long lost home in her arms.

As she broke the hug, I cried, “I want to move on, Butterfly, please help me. I can’t leave with the pain of my past anymore.”

She clasped my face and assured me, “I’m with you, Sidharth. I’ll help you but I just want you to keep faith in me. You have to trust me that I won’t break your heart.”

“I’ll try, Butterfly. I’m sorry,” next moment she shushed me by capturing my lips after cupping my face and my eyes widened in surprise.

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