I can’t even describe in words that how much happy I’m as today Sidharth let me touch himself and agreed to dance with me. Moreover, he asked me to call him with his name.
Haye… I’m on cloud nine.
“You know I have never been so happy before in my life. With you, I’m something else. You’re taking the best out of me. You’re bringing shine to my life, Butterfly. You’re becoming my shining star.” His words echoed in my ears and a broad smile flashed on my face.
After today I have started liking him more.
And what I should say about our today’s dance, it was magical.
I stepped into the room, wondering about him and wore his shirt with my denim shorts. I feel so snug in his clothes. I hugged myself, standing in front of the mirror, feeling like he is hugging me.
I came out of my thoughts when my phone rang.
“It must be Sidharth.” I murmured and excitedly ran out of the bathroom.
Perhaps he is missing me like I’m missing him.
I picked up my phone from the table.
It’s Ryan’s call, a close cousin of mine from India. He is like my real brother to me. When I was in India, we used to share every tiny thing.
As I answered the call, he uttered, “I’m standing outside of your house, open the door.”
“What? Are you in L.A.? When did you come?” I flooded him with questions.
“I want to surprise you. Now open the door.”
“I’m coming.” I disconnected the call and dashed out of the room.
I opened the door and hugged Ryan. I’m feeling like I’m seeing him after ages.
I held his hand and took him inside. We settled down on the sofa.
“So what’s bring you here?” I asked him.
“I’ll tell you everything but first you tell me why are you glowing so much today? Are you in love?” He assumed and my eyes widened in shock.
How did he come to know this by only seeing my face? But is it really love?
Now he is making me confused.
“Love! I don’t know. But… I like someone a lot. He makes me so happy and complete. I forget everything when he is around me and I want to stay with him twenty-four hours. And you know I feel I’m in heaven when he hugs me or touches me.” I told him everything merrily and he is just giving me a teasing look like an idiot.
I don’t know now why I’m thinking that it’s love.
“You’re in love, Idiot.” He slightly slapped my head and I rubbed my head, pouting at him. “It’s clearly written on your face that you’re in love, Sana.”
Really! Am I in love with him?
“Do you really think this?”
“I’m hundred percent sure.” He said with full confidence and I blushed.
Now my smile is not leaving my face.
Omg! I’m in love.
Sana Gill loves Sidharth Shukla.
That’s why I got ready to be his submissive and to come into the relationship which I hated the most.
Now I’m getting everything.
“I’m in love with Sidharth.” I murmured and smiled blissfully.
“Really I’m such a big idiot that I didn’t understand before that I love him. I was so confused about my feelings. Thank you for making me realise my feelings.” I hugged him joyfully. “I love you so much, Ryan.”
He is my best cousin.
I instantly broke the hug as soon as I felt Sidharth’s presence and looked at the door in confusion.
Why I’m feeling like he is around me? I wondered bemusedly.
“What happened?” Ryan asked me.
“I don’t know why did I feel like he was around me.”
“Chill! This happens with the people who fall in love.” He chuckled.
So his teasing starts.
He never leaves any chance to tease me.
“Stop teasing me.” I slapped his bicep playfully. “By the way how do you know so much about love?”
“Because I’m a love Guru.” He said and we both laughed.
“But now you have to tell me that how you became love Guru.”
“It’s a long story, I’ll tell you some another day.” He told me and I nodded.
“So when are you going to confess your feelings to your special one?” He asked excitedly.
“It’s a bit complicated.” I told him sadly.
Now how do I explain to him the person whom I love he likes only a BDSM relationship and I have no clue that he loves me or not?
“But I think you should confess because complications of life and especially in love is never-ending.”
I hope it would be easy to confess my feelings to him.
“I’ll think about it. Now tell me about yourself. Where are you staying?”
“I came here for some work, so I thought to meet you.” Then he glanced at his wristwatch and freaked out, standing up. “Oh shit! I’m getting late for my flight.”
“Couldn’t you stay here for a night? I have to share so many things with you.” I asked after standing up.
“I’m sorry I have to leave now. Next time.” He apologised and I pouted disappointedly at him.
“Now say goodbye to me properly.” He gave me a quick hug and I smiled at him faintly.
“I’ll miss you and thank you once again for making me realise that I’m in love.” Now I smiled broadly.
“I’m happy for you and keep smiling like this. Next time I’m gonna meet him too.”
“Now, bye-bye.” He waved at me.
“See you soon.” He smiled at me before leaving and I closed the door.
I opened my arms and twirled around gaily, squealing loudly like an insane woman. “I’m in love, I’m in love…”
I slumped down on the sofa, breathing heavily with a beatific smile on my face.
He asked me to stay honest with him, so should I confess my feelings to him?
I think I should because now I can’t hide my feelings from him anymore after realising that I love him.
Haye… I’m so happy.
I made up my mind and stood up. “Yes, today I’ll tell him that how much I love him and want to stay with him forever.” I murmured to myself before leaving my house.
On the way to his mansion, I purchased the rose bouquet for him and called him to ask him whether he is at his mansion or not. I called him many times but he didn’t answer my calls.
No problem! I’ll still go to his mansion because now I just can’t wait to confess my feelings to him.
I’m driving the car rashly in the rage. Flashes of Butterfly hugging someone else and confessing love to him is coming in front of my eyes again and again. My mind is twirling.
Why fucking every time this happened with me? Why happiness and peace aren’t in my life?
I was almost ready to give a second chance to my life and this happened. Every time I get hurt because of the feeling of love. I was right that love only hurts and gives agony.
I thought she also feels the same for me what I feel for her, but she is in love with somebody else and she hid this from me. If she loves somebody else, then why the fuck she is with me?
She was becoming the peace of my life, I was so happy with her, she was changing me and teaching me how to live the life to fullest and now this happened. I just can’t believe that she loves somebody else. It’s hurting me so much.
I reached my mansion and directly went to the bar. I opened the bottle of whiskey and started drinking. Mechanically tears started trickling down my cheeks. Again I became weak.
I’m feeling so stupid. Why did I again become a fool because of these stupid feelings?
“Fuck! This emotion.” I yelled after wiping my tears and drinking the whole bottle of whiskey in one go.
Why it’s hurting so much?
Then only I heard my phone ringing in my jeans pocket. I hastily took out the phone and my brows frowned as I saw Butterfly’s name flashing on the screen.
She called me so many times but I ignored it and slammed the phone on the stool in fury.
Not now, Sana! Not now!
My phone is ringing continuously.
What is her problem? Can’t she get it that I don’t want to talk to her?
I answered the call without seeing the phone’s screen. “Fuck! Stop calling me, Sana.” I roared in a fit of anger.
“Sidharth, it’s me, what happened, buddy?” I heard Dev voice from another side.
I pulled my hair with one hand in frustration.
I controlled my anger by closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
“Everything is okay! Bro, nothing happened.” I replied after controlling my emotions very difficultly.
It’s not okay, Dev, it’s not okay!
My inner voice is screaming at him.
“But you’re sounding not okay, Sidharth and I’m feeling like something has happened between you and Sana” He listened to my inner voice.
He knows me so well.
“Where are you? I’m just coming to meet you.”
I’m blessed to have him in my life. He always stays with me during my worst time.
“I’m at home.” I told him because I need my friend right now.
“Okay, I’m coming.” He disconnected the call and I stared straight unblinkingly, Sana’s words are echoing in my ears and wringing my heart.
I reached Sidharth’s mansion in no time. The door is ajar, so I opened it and stepped inside, my heartbeat is accelerating. Now I’m getting nervous.
But I froze when I heard his shout, “If there was love between us, I would have pushed Sana away from me because love only hurts, Dev. I hate love.”
I felt a sharp pain in my heart and tears brimmed in my eyes.
Why he hates love so much?
I was so excited to tell him that I love him but now I can’t tell him because I don’t want him to push me away from himself. It will be difficult but I’ll hide my feelings from him as I can’t afford to stay without him. I just want to be with him at any cost. His presence is important to me. If he wants me as his submissive, I’ll remain his submissive but now after listening to his words I can’t confess my love to him.
“I’m sorry, Sidharth but I have to hide my feelings from you.” Tears rolled my cheeks and I said, crushing the rose bouquet. I rushed out of the mansion, crying and covering my mouth with my hand.