(Part: 40 Fear Of Losing Him) Love Or Sin {Sidnaaz}


“Shivansh, I can explain.” Shivansh was about to walk out of Shukla Mansion, Sidharth stopped him coming in front of him.

“What will you explain? It’s all over.” Shivansh roared with outrage and pushed him away. His eyes were spitting fire. Sidharth stared at him, having guilt in his eyes.

“I trusted you so much and you were doing this behind my back.” Sidharth looked down in guilt as Shivansh uttered disappointedly and looked at him disgustingly.

“What I haven’t done for you. Before myself, I have always, always thought about you. And see what you did to me. You snatched everything from me. You snatched my all happiness.” Sidharth was crying in guilt. He was blaming himself for snatching Shivansh happiness.

“I am feeling so disgusting by saying that you were my friend.” Sidharth eyes shot up in shock when Shivansh said he was his friend instead of he is his friend. He had really ended their friendship without giving him a last chance.

“Yes, Sidharth today, you have ended our friendship. It’s over, Sidharth.” Shivansh shouted angrily and Sidharth’s heart skipped beating for a moment listening to his words. Shivansh stormed from there in fury, leaving his friend in guilt.

Sidharth slumped down on the floor and cried in extreme pain, covering his face with his hands as Shivansh left. He felt like everything had ended. Shivansh friendship was the most precious thing of his life. He never wanted to lose a friend like him. He never wanted to hurt him. He had always wished to see him happy. He was guilty and broken both. He was in guilt to hurt him and he was broken after losing him. The pain was unbearable. Flashes of all the moments which he had spent with Shivansh were coming in front of his eyes like a movie.

Sidharth woke up from slumber, breathing heavily and sweating badly.

“Everything has ended.” He sat up on the bed, holding his head. Shehnaaz wasn’t sleeping. As Sidharth sat up, she also got up confusingly.

“What happened, Sidharth?” She asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. Sidharth turned his face to look at her.

“Everything has ended, Shehnaaz. Everything.” He cried and she raised her brows in shock. Her heart broke down into million of pieces, seeing his condition.

“I lost him forever. He will never forgive.” He cried more, looking at Shehnaaz. It was the first time, Shehnaaz was seeing Sidharth in this condition and it was hurting her a lot.

“Sidharth, you must have seen a bad dream. Everything is fine.” Shehnaaz tried to console him by cupping his face and making him look into her eyes.

“Dream ?” He murmured in disbelief and Shehnaaz nodded her head in response. Sidharth looked around the surrounding and realised that it was a bad dream.

“I thought, I lost him. He was so angry. I am afraid, Shehnaaz, I am afraid. I can’t lose him.” He whispered while crying. Shehnaaz just took him in her arms and Sidharth cried noisily in her arms like a small baby cries in his mother’s arms. She let him cry, she also cried with him while hugging him tightly. She wanted to take away his all pain and filled his life with happiness. She couldn’t see him in pain.

“I can’t live happily by giving him pain. I never want to become the reason of his pain, Shehnaaz. I’m not understanding anything. I am feeling so scared. I am going to hurt him a lot.” He got up from the bed and stood facing his back to Shehnaaz. She was looking at him, having tears in her eyes.

Sidharth was hiding his pain and fear from Shehnaaz till now but he couldn’t hide it anymore after the nightmare. It scared him like hell. He couldn’t bear Shivansh’s hatred. He didn’t want to snatch his happiness.

“Trust me everything will be fine,” Shehnaaz reassured him and hugged him from behind. Sidharth shut his eyes and fresh tears rolled down his eyes.

He removed her hands from around his body and went toward the bed. He lay down on the bed silently after closing his eyes. Shehnaaz stared at him silently for a few minutes. She also lay down beside him on her one side and kept staring at him. Something was going in her mind.

“I love you, Sidharth.” She whispered and kissed his forehead. As her lips touch his forehead, he opened his eyes. Both gazed into each other silently, having pain in them.

Next morning

Sidnaaz were having the breakfast silently, sitting at the dining table. They both had become silent from the last night.

“Sidharth.” As Shehnaaz spoke after breaking the silence, Sidharth looked at her instantly.

“I want something from you. Will you give me ?” She asked, placing her hand over his hand which was kept on the table. Sidharth looked at her in confusion. He didn’t know why but he sensed from her depressing voice that there was something wrong.

“I will give you whatever you want, star. Just say.” Shehnaaz smiled slightly.

“First, you have to promise me that you won’t say no to me.” She held out her hand to me and asked him to promise her. She made him more confused. He narrowed his brows, staring at her bemusedly.

“Okay, I promise that I will give you whatever you want.” He first looked at her hand, then toward her and then promised her.

Shehnaaz sighed deeply before saying something. “I want your permission to let me go.”

“Where ?” He got asked instantly.

“I want you to let me go Sidharth.” She paused “away from your life.“ tears rolled from her eyes as she spoke those words. Sidharth was staring at her incredulously.

“You don’t have to tell Shivansh that you love me. I will go away from both of your life.” She declared after wiping her tears.

“No.” Sidharth shouted, getting up from the chair. Shehnaaz composed herself and stood up

“Please Sidharth, let me go. We will never able to live happily by hurting Shivansh. You have to let me go, Sidharth. You have to fulfil your given promise.” She tried to convince him, putting her hand on his shoulder while he was staring straight.

Will Sidharth let her go?

Love Mehak

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