(Part: 11 Magic Of True love) Love Or Sin {Sidnaaz}


Shivansh was driving the car in full speed. Tears were constantly trickling down his cheeks. The flashes of all the moment which he had spent with him coming in front of his eyes. The biggest fear of his life was coming true. Sidharth’s life was in danger. He didn’t want to lose him at any cost. He was not only his best friend, he was his life. He wanted to reach the hospital as soon as possible and wanted to see him fine in front of his eyes.

Shehnaaz was sitting beside him. She was staring out of the window blankly. After listening about Sidharth’s accident, Shehnaaz’s mind became completely blank. His smiling face was not leaving her mind for even a single second. She didn’t want to lose him. She had never felt so scared in her life before. She was just praying to god to keep him fine. Her heart was thumping with fright of losing him because she loved him.

They reached the hospital within an hour. That one hour was not less than one year for them. They immediately dashed into the hospital. Shehnaaz bumped with someone. That person said sorry to her but she without even looking at that person, she ran toward reception.

“Si-Si-Sidharth Shukla.” Shivansh stammered in taking the name of Sidharth at the reception because of the fear of losing him. Shehnaaz was standing beside him having fear in her eyes. She was also not in the condition to speak a single word. She just wanted to see him fine.

“He is in ICU, 5th-floor, sir.” The receptionist checked the list on her computer and as told him, they rushed toward the elevator. There were two elevators. He hurriedly pressed the button of both. Within a few second, the door of the elevator slid open and they hastily stepped inside. Shehnaaz immediately pressed the button of the fifth floor. They both were restless. Tears were constantly rolling down his cheeks and he was wiping them off with his palms.

Shehnaaz wasn’t crying. She was completely blank at that moment. She wasn’t understanding why this was happening with her. The complications of her life were increasing. She had accepted her feeling and was living with it. But then why this happened?

As the door opened, they ran toward the ICU which was on the right side. A nurse walked out and Shivansh ran toward her.

“How-how is he?” Shivansh asked anxiously. Shehnaaz was also looking at the nurse worriedly and her heart was racing.

“His condition is critical. We can’t say anything right now.” The nurse left from there after saying this. Shivansh slumped down on the floor in agony and started crying, palming his face. Tears rushed down Shehnaaz’s cheeks mechanically. Her heart was crying inside. She didn’t want to lose him. His presence used to give him peace. His one smile was enough to make her day happy. He was the missing piece of her life. She didn’t want to lose that missing piece again.

Shehnaaz cried looking at Shivansh who was crying sitting on the floor and his face was covered with his hands. Shehnaaz knelt on floor beside him. As she put her hand on his shoulder, he turned toward her and hugged her tightly. He cried more badly and she too cried, rubbing his back.

“I don’t want to lose him, Shehnaaz. I don’t…” he cried out sorrowfully. Shehnaaz shut her eyes and cried with him. She also didn’t want to lose him.

“He will be fine.” She murmured these words constantly like a prayer.

“Yes, you are right, Shehnaaz. He will be fine. He can’t go living me alone like, like this. I won’t let him go.” Shivansh uttered after breaking the hug. Shehnaaz slightly nodded her head, having tears in her eyes. Then they both stood up wiping their tears.

After sometime, Shehnaaz was sitting outside of the ICU, gazing straight emotionlessly. Shivansh had gone downstairs to fill some forms. She was feeling like everything was getting end. All the moment which she had spent with him were revolving in her mind. Their first hug, his smile, their conversations, all the moments were coming in front of her like a movie was playing in front of her eyes. There were very few memories of Shehnaaz with Sidharth but all of them were very precious, special and best for her which she could never forget.

As doctor walked outside of the ICU, Shehnaaz stood up and ran toward him immediately.

“How is he, Doctor?” She asked in one go from doctor anxiously and her heartbeat accelerated. Instantly her mind started praying to god for a positive answer from the doctor.

“We are trying our best. Now also we can’t say anything. He is not responding to our any treatment like he didn’t want to live.” The doctor told her and Shehnaaz cried more. She took a few steps backwards in a shock. Why he didn’t want to live? What the pain he was hiding? Now, these questions started running in her mind. She had always seen the pain in his eyes, but she couldn’t gather the courage to ask him about his problem.

She had no idea, the pain which she was going through, Sidharth was also going through the same pain. The pain of not getting what he needed the most. The pain of falling in love with her which was a sin for him. The pain of controlling his feelings. The pain of seeing her every day with somebody else. The pain of living in guilt after falling in love with his best friend’s wife. The pain was killing him from inside that he didn’t even want to live.

She strolled to the door of ICU and gazed at him through the small glass. Seeing his condition, she cried in agony after shutting her eyes and pursed her lips to control her sobs. He was lying on the bed unconscious and many wires were attached to his body. She cried after resting her forehead against the door. It was getting difficult for her to see him in worse condition. Her heart was burning inside her.

Next moment she opened the door and rushed inside. She couldn’t stop herself from seeing him. Luckily there was no one in the ICU at that time and she took the advantage. She strolled toward him, crying. Her both the legs were trembling with fright. Tears were rolling down her cheeks constantly. Her heart was racing fast. His condition was making her weak.

She stood beside him and stared at him for a few minutes without even blinking her eyes. Tears were constantly cascading down her cheeks. She moved her hand toward his face. Her hand was shaking, seeing him in pain. She had never wished to see him in this condition. She had always wished to see his smile. She had never felt like this seeing somebody in pain before. Her heart was breaking inside. She was feeling like her soul was shivering inside because of the fear of losing him.

“You have to be alright, Sidharth. You don’t even know what you are for me, Sidharth. You have no idea what you are doing to me. Your small smile makes my entire day happy. A small conversation with you makes me feel happy. Every second I crave to come into your arms. I love you, Sidharth.” She finally realised that she loved him. The fear of losing him made her realise how much she loved him. She was standing, putting her one hand on his face and tears were constantly trickling down her cheeks. She was stroking his dark stubble with her thumb.

She leaned over his face and clasped his face with her both hands. Then she spoke and cried. “Yes, I love you, Sidharth. I know it’s a sin, and you will never love me back. But I can’t stop my heart from loving you. My heart is only beating for you, Sidharth. On my every breath, your name has written. If something happens to you, I will also not able to live without you. I can’t live without. I will die Sidharth without you.”

She continued after a few minutes. “I know, I will get nothing from this love but my heart will never stop loving you. I will always love you without any expectation. I only want to see you fine and happy in your life. I can’t lose you, Sidharth because I love you.” She whispered and cried touching her face with him. As her tears fell on his cheeks, he moved his finger in response. She kept crying, touching her face with his face in agony. It was visible that how much she loved him.

She wasn’t expecting anything from this love. She only wanted to see him happy. Only his happiness matters to her. Her happiness was in his happiness. His happiness was peace of her heart.

“What are you doing here?” She came on the earth back after listening to a famine voice. She instantly stood straight and looked at the person, wiping her tears with the back of her palm.

“Mam, no one is allowed to come here. You have to go out.” The nurse told her and she nodded her. She glanced at Sidharth with her sorrowful eyes before walking out. Fresh tears rolled down down her cheeks after seeing him in pain. She ran outside of the ICU after covering her mouth with her hand.

She saw Shivansh who was coming with Doctor sadly and his eyes became red because of crying constantly. The doctor walked inside the ICU and Shivansh slumped down on the bench. He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes dejectedly. All the happy and sad moment which he had spent with him, they again started revolving in his mind. He couldn’t imagine his life without him.

Shehnaaz sat down beside him and put her hand on his shoulder. Shivansh looked at her, opening his eyes slowly.

“What happened to my Sidharth, Shehnaaz? The doctor is saying that he is not responding to any of their treatment. Why doesn’t he want to live? What is the pain.. which he is hiding? Why can’t he share with me ?” Shivansh asked while crying. He was clueless. She also had no answer to his questions. She also had no clue what was his pain.

Before Shehnaaz could say something to him, they both heard doctor’s voice and they immediately looked at them.

“He is out of danger now. He starts responding.” A smile of relief flashed on their faces after listening to doctor’s words. They both took a breath of relief. Finally, he was out of danger. In her mind, she thanked god.

“It’s like some miracle happened. A few minutes ago, he had stopped responding to any of our treatments, but when I came back, I found him completely fine. His heartbeats are normal. It was like something had happened” Doctor himself was shocked and confused. He had no idea that this wasn’t any miracle. This was the magic of Shehnaaz’s true love which took him out of the danger. Her words encouraged him to fight back from his pain. He responded to their treatment because of her. She was the reason that he got fine.

Love Mehak

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